The importance of effective feedback - part 1
Feedback is a conversational way of telling others how you see them or learning how others see you. Feedback, therefore, consists of two components, namely giving feedback and receiving feedback.
Giving feedback is linked to three objectives:
- I want to make the other person aware of how I experience his or her behavior and what it means to me (in both a positive and negative sense).
- I want to inform the other person about my needs and feelings so that they are informed about what they could be more considerate of. In this way, they do not have to rely on assumptions.
- I want to inform the other person about what changes in his or her behavior towards me would make it easier to work with them.
Feedback is not a simple matter, both to give and to take feedback. It can sometimes be painful, embarrassing, defensive or create new difficulties, as no one accepts being corrected in their self-image lightly. It is also important to deal openly with feelings - which is what feedback is usually about. This often has to be learned first. A feedback situation is therefore often precarious, so it is favorable that feedback "givers" and feedback "takers" agree on certain points.
In essence feedback supplements self-perception or self-assessment with - as far as possible - an "objective" external assessment and perception. Used correctly, feedback can be enormously valuable and effective.
What Is Effective Feedback?
Effective feedback has the desired effect, that is, the outcome that we want (for example, a behavior change). At the same time, it is given in such a way as to maintain the respect and dignity of all the parties involved.
So, for example, shouting at people or making them feel bad, although it might give the desired outcome sometimes, is not effective. This is because such aggressive behavior is not sustainable in the long run. People subjected to harsh treatment will feel resentful, stressed and bullied - and they will end up getting sick or leaving.
At the same time, for feedback to be effective, we need to be able to communicate openly and clearly with the person involved.
Often, there is too much focus on the past and not enough on the future. Instead, there should be more emphasis on moving forward, on future actions and development.
Sometimes, the focus is too much on the negatives and on failures, rather than giving enough consideration to the achievements and the good things that an employee did.
Other times, performance reviews feel just like box-ticking exercises, something that needs to be done just because HR wants you to do it. So, the parties involved lack interest and enthusiasm.
To succeed, this type of feedback needs to be meaningful; it needs to be planned properly so both parties are prepared, and the supervisor and supervisee need to have equal input, so the approach is not one-sided.
Balancing Positive and Constructive Feedback
1. Beware the ‘sandwich’
You might have come across the idea of the feedback sandwich, whereby you are supposed to start with positive feedback, then deliver the criticism, and finally end with another positive comment. So, if you imagine the sandwich, the compliments at the start and the end are the bread and the criticism is the heart of the matter, the meat or the cheese or whatever you eat in a sandwich. The idea is that this approach will make the recipient less defensive as balancing positives with negatives is supposed to protect their self-esteem. So, the manager feels better about giving constructive feedback. The recipient might feel confused because the main message (i.e., the request to change behavior or to improve) is diluted. Also, if this method is used all the time, eventually the employee will start associating any offer of feedback with criticism. So, when the manager calls them for a one-to-one meeting, the employee will think ‘What have I done wrong now?’ and will become anxious. At the same time, the employee will perceive the compliment as fake and insincere, just a tool to soften the blow. So, in the end, the sandwich detracts from the reinforcement of positive feedback and devalues the impact of constructive feedback.
2. Keep positives and negatives separate
Having discussed the fact that the ‘sandwich’ is not very effective, you still need to give positive feedback. Positive feedback is invaluable, and you need to give employees a lot of it, way more than you give constructive feedback. This is because positive feedback, as we have discussed, reinforces good behavior and makes people feel appreciated and, therefore, happier, more engaged and more productive. It is better though to give positive feedback separately from constructive feedback, so that people appreciate it more and see it as sincere. Praise constitutes positive feedback, but, although praise is important, you might not want to praise your staff for every little thing as otherwise, it can come across as fake.
Positive feedback though can also mean making people feel appreciated. So, you can give them recognition and create a culture in which positive events happen daily. This means creating an overall positive culture in the company, in which people are supported, listened to and respected. Create a culture in which employees are free to express their opinions without fear and are encouraged to problem-solve together with their managers. The idea is that positive events need to outnumber negative events.
3. Remember negative feedback bias
As humans, we are wired to remember negative events more strongly than positive ones. When it comes to feedback, this phenomenon is known as the ‘negative effect bias’.
We tend to remember more vividly when somebody has been critical of us rather than complimenting us. This bias in favor of negative events might happen because, for our ancestors, it was more important to pay attention to threats rather than pleasurable events, in order to survive. For example, it was more important to be alert to the presence of a predator than to a nice piece of fruit when thinking of a place. Knowing this, keep in mind that you need to give a lot more positive feedback in comparison to criticism, if you want staff to also remember the positives. How much more? (You might ask)
4. Use 5:1 ratio
John Gottman, a relationship researcher, has worked out that the ratio is 5 to 1. So, for a couple to be successful, for every 1 negative interaction or feeling, there need to be at least 5 positive interactions or feelings to counterbalance the negatives.
This principle can be applied to work relationships, too. You don’t have to count every time you create positive or negative interactions with an employee. Just use this idea as a rule of thumb, to remember that you need to allow for much more positivity than negativity if you want a happy and motivated workforce.
closure
Feedback as a management tool
As an instrument in personnel management and development, professional feedback serves to improve performance and motivate employees.
Positive feedback even has a better effect on employees' mood and willingness to perform than purely monetary incentives such as bonuses or a salary increase.
The prerequisite for this, however, is that the feedback is not given spontaneously or impulsively, but prepared and professionally carried out within a sufficient framework (in terms of space and time). For example, in the form of a so-called feedback discussion. There is no question that such feedback is an enormous challenge for both sides - for the feedback giver as well as for the feedback receiver.
After all, professional feedback is not only praise but also criticism and always includes sensitive areas such as personal development and involves both positive and negative behavior.
Saying this is no easier than accepting such feedback. It is therefore all the more important for the person giving the feedback to create an informal and calm atmosphere and to pay attention to the feasibility of the feedback.
How to give feedback is part of my course SPEAK UP! Feel free to have a look at the course content.
Pin this graphic if you liked the post.
Get your free SPEAK UP!
SAY NO! checklist
Sign up with your email address to receive news and updates.
Related posts:
You cannot know everything there is to know about how to get where you want to be in life. While it’s possible to learn the needed skills, this will take time and likely a lot of money. Instead, what if you had someone (or a group of people) who can help guide you to success?
A mentor is someone who currently is where you want to be. The relationship you have with a mentor can be an official one, or it can be informal such as following in the footsteps of someone you admire. Mentors have experience and have gone through growing pains towards success. They will know what kinds of training you may need or skills to develop.