7 TIPS HOW TO SAY NO and 3 actionable steps you can take right away
Time is a limited resource and we all need to be careful what we do with our time. It seems that there is never enough time in a day. But, since we all get the same 24 hours, why is it that some people achieve so much more with their time than others? The easy answer is in good time management. Lots of people attend time management seminars, with the following idea: Effective time management is the effective use of your time that allows you to plan your days in such a way that you finish your work with less effort and make the most of the limited time you’ve got.
But for many of us it is not time management which is the challenge, but to say NO!
Time is a limited resource and you want to make sure that you spend your work time on topics that matter, that matter because they are important to the company and your boss and/or they are important for your career. Tasks that are not important to your company/your boss or not important for your career are tasks that normally are the ones that can go off your list. It is important that you learn to say NO! to ensure you can deliver assigned and important tasks in the required quality and you still have time and energy to focus on your career.
Now, let´s focus on how to say NO!
You want to be accommodative towards people. You want to help out as best as you can. However, too many people are more than willing to let you help out and will request more from you if you let them. When this happens, you need to learn how to say no.
7 TIPS HOW TO SAY NO
1. If you have too much on your plate, you need to let people know this.
Otherwise, people will continue to ask for more. To be fair, one person may not know that several others have requested doing something for them. That is why you are responsible for letting others know. If you want to ensure to deliver the right quality this NO! is a must.
2. Ask people for reasons why they are requesting you to do things for them.
If they have a valid reason, you can consider doing it. But, if they are just trying to pass off their work, you will know from their response, and it will be easier for you to say no. In case of doubt check in with your line manager.
3. Don’t beat around the bush when people ask for something.
They will perceive you as being weak, and they will take advantage of that weakness. Once they discover that, they will continue coming back for more requests. Set clear boundaries! It is important that you belief saying NO! is the right thing to do. If you are insecure or doubting yourself people will notice and continue asking you.
4. You don’t want to cop an attitude when saying no.
You want to politely state that it is not the right time for you. If the requester gets agitated because you said no, stay polite, but firm. You are in control of your time, and you must let them know that. In case of doubt please agree to saying NO! with your line manager. They have a huge interest that your work is done in the right quality and that you are energized for unforeseen tasks.
5. Some people refrain from saying no because it puts them in a martyr role.
They take on so much work to get others to feel sorry for them. Don’t fall into this trap. It is a thinly-veiled excuse, and you should not participate in this behaviour. It will backfire on you after a while. This will lead in the long run into burn-out, and the person suffering from this will be you, only you.
6. Saying no to your manager is challenging. You need to be delicate but firm.
A good way to handle this is to remind them of what you have on your plate already. Ask to have them prioritize your tasks. Unfortunately, you will have to do what your manager says. Maybe there are some tips and tricks to get more efficient, or you discover that not all aspects need the same attention to detail. However, if the requests become too unreasonable after a while, it may be time to look for new line manager/department/company.
7. When you get better at saying no, make sure you don’t abuse it.
You should manage your time wisely, but you don’t want to come off as a blocker who won’t take any requests. However, another tip, try saying no more often, practice is everything.
3 actionable steps you can take right away
And this is already my first actionable step: You won’t run out of opportunities to say no as people are always trying to find ways to get you to do things for them. Therefore, in case of the next person who asks for something: Simply say no, you can’t. Even if you have the time, you want to get the practice saying it. Do this once per month. People will start to respect that you aren’t the person to dump all their work on.
Another tip is not related to work but to physical exercise e.g. martial arts like Taekwondo. Sign up for a class and show up there at least twice per week. You will learn confidence from these classes and have more power to say NO!
And my last tip: Join my Say NO! workshop!
The next one is on September the 9th, here is the link to apply. Other dates will be communicated on my website or my newsletter. Subscribe here for the newsletter.
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A mentor is someone who currently is where you want to be. The relationship you have with a mentor can be an official one, or it can be informal such as following in the footsteps of someone you admire. Mentors have experience and have gone through growing pains towards success. They will know what kinds of training you may need or skills to develop.