The Definitive Networking Guide for Introverts
You may be one of the many people who believe networking and introverts don’t naturally go together. Even self-proclaimed introverts often misunderstand what it means to be them. If you are an introvert who thinks they are stuck where they are in their career because they can’t effectively network, keep reading. We’re going to dispel some of the myths around being an introvert and offer tips on how to be a networking pro no matter how you prefer to interact with others.
Introvert Myths
Most people think of introverts as shy, awkward individuals who cannot communicate with the world around them. People believe introverts hide in the corners at parties and struggle to open their mouths and get words out when in a conversation with others.
Actually, that’s not what being an introvert is about at all. Introverts are simply people who need time and space to be alone to recharge their energy. For example, an introvert might choose to read instead of going to a party on the weekend. They might enjoy taking a long walk or watching a movie alone instead of hanging out with people from work during their time off. While extraverts get jazzed up by being around people, introverts just need a little quiet to recharge after a long day at work.
You’ll notice none of the above description talks about how well introverts got along with others. Or how they hate being in groups. Or how they make poor first impressions. That’s because introverts are great at these things. They don’t hate being around people. They can’t handle being around people all the time. They need their space.
So, what does that mean about introverts who need to network?
Networking is all about meeting new people and conversing with them in meaningful ways. It means building mutually-beneficial relationships with these new people after the networking event is over.
Can introverts do all that? Absolutely! And they can do it like a pro as long as they work with their energy instead of against it.
Use these tips to get started mastering networking as an introvert.
Allow Time for Yourself
Since you recharge best alone while pursuing quiet activities, be sure to give yourself alone time both before and after the networking event. Don’t schedule other social activities that might be a drain on energy before you network. Even if you have to bow out of an event you might enjoy, it’s important to be at your peak energy when going into a networking situation. When the event is over, give yourself time to re-energize in much the same way. This may mean going home instead of going out for drinks afterward. Honor your energy, and you’ll end up enjoying networking much more.
Give Yourself Reasonable Goals
Even energized, an introvert might have difficulty canvassing an entire room of people. Being in a large group can be draining and intimidating to an introvert. Before you arrive at the event, set a goal you can easily keep. Plan to talk to only a few people, especially since you’re more likely to get into more in-depth conversations with these individuals (one of the perks of being an introvert). If you can, choose those that will be most beneficial to meet before you even get there. That way, you’ll have a plan, and you can focus on the people you want to meet from the start. Having a plan will help you relax into the experience and come off more natural.
Let Someone Else Introduce You
Meeting new people is intimidating to anyone, but introverts might need that extra nudge. Having someone introduce you to the people you need to meet can take a lot of the pressure off. If you don’t know anyone at the networking event, go to the event organizer and ask them to make the introduction on your behalf.
Spend More Time Listening
Everyone loves to be listened to. Introverts, usually quieter by nature, make for especially good listeners. Learn how to become an engaged listener. Keep your attention completely on the person you’re talking to. Ask pertinent questions. Offer your opinions only when asked, or when the other person is finished talking.
Why is this important? When someone feels listened to, they immediately have a better opinion of the one doing the listening. This makes you memorable in a good way. At the same time, this kind of conversation allows for more depth, building a stronger relationship right at the start.
Know How to Begin
Starting a conversation can be tricky. To keep from resorting to a mundane conversation about the weather or the event itself, have some rehearsed conversation starters ready to go. Want a pro-tip? Do a little research on the other attendees you want to meet and design conversational starters towards their interests. Try asking about pet projects, or things you know they are working on now. Most people love talking about themselves. With the right question, you’ll very easily get the conversation going.
Don’t Expect Perfection
No one is great at networking the first time out. Even old hands will find themselves in over their heads from time to time. Awkward encounters are to be expected. Should things go badly, chalk it up to a learning experience and move on. If things go especially badly, then give yourself a break. Get a drink, use the restroom, get a breath of fresh air before moving on to the next person. If you find yourself wanting to bolt for home, then make a deal with yourself. Set a time limit, giving it another 15 – 20 minutes before racing for the door. Who knows, you might find yourself wanting to stay after all.
Lose the Cell Phone
There’s nothing worse than trying to talk to someone who’s staring at their screen. This might be especially hard for introverts who are typically more comfortable with screen interaction than encounters in person. Make a point to keep the cell phone pocketed during the event. Set up some ground rules before the function., These rules might include checking your phone only once every half hour or moving into a quiet area before checking it. One sure way to make a bad impression is looking like you’ve got other, more important things to be doing.
Ignore the Mental Mindgames
Chances are you’ve already got a lot of preconceived notions about yourself and networking based on previous experience. Ignore everything you’ve been telling yourself about how you can’t talk to people. Any inner voice trying to remind you of your so-called limitations needs to be silenced immediately. Tell yourself firmly that none of those messages are true. Even if some of them are (for example you might have had a bad experience in the past), remind yourself that was then, this is now. Just because something happened before, doesn’t mean it will happen again.
Pay Attention to Your Physical Health
It’s hard enough to manage networking as an introvert. You certainly don’t need to make things harder by struggling to maintain your energy levels before you even step through the door. Make a point to eat beforehand. Hydrate by drinking plenty of water. Make sure you’re well-rested when you get there, and already at optimal energy. Dragging in tired or sick is a recipe for disaster, so do whatever it takes to make sure you’re feeling healthy and strong throughout.
Have a Plan in Place for Afterwards
By the time the networking event is over, most introverts are ready to head for home for some private time. You need to understand that this is part of your particular process and that emotions of this sort are perfectly sane and natural. This is where a little planning goes a long way.
The day after a networking event, give yourself time to recharge in your optimal environment. Need time outside? Plan a day in the woods or the garden. Need to fall into a book and be quiet, then make sure you schedule things so you can get some uninterrupted reading time. Whatever you need to do to recharge, do it.
The trick is to remember to follow up with the people you meet. Don’t feel like you have to dive in immediately though. You can send out messages over the next couple of days, so take it slow. By reminding them of the circumstance of the meeting, and some detail of the conversation, they’ll remember you easy enough even if a couple of days have passed. Remember, the key here is to work at a pace that’s comfortable for you.
Being an introvert doesn’t mean you won’t ever master networking. It means you might need to put a little more thought into what you’re doing than an extrovert does. It also means you’re going to have to pay closer attention to your energy levels as you network, and that you’ll need to be kind to yourself when you find your energy flagging. It also means that you’ll more likely make deeper and longer-lasting connections than extroverts. That’s because introverts typically make for great listeners.
If you’re an introvert, take heart. You’re about to experience some of the best social interactions in your life.
With this blog and with the blog articles 5 mindset shift to love networking, Why you should love networking, Networking isn´t a numbers game and Why networking matters we have prepared ourselves for networking, but how do I build up a network strategically? I'll show you in my course SHOW UP! In the 6-week online group coaching program we talk about exactly that! Because if you are not seen by the right decision-makers, you are: invisible! Here is the link to SHOW UP!
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You cannot know everything there is to know about how to get where you want to be in life. While it’s possible to learn the needed skills, this will take time and likely a lot of money. Instead, what if you had someone (or a group of people) who can help guide you to success?
A mentor is someone who currently is where you want to be. The relationship you have with a mentor can be an official one, or it can be informal such as following in the footsteps of someone you admire. Mentors have experience and have gone through growing pains towards success. They will know what kinds of training you may need or skills to develop.