Today I am going to write about salary negotiation.

In a recent poll, I asked how many people had already negotiated their own salary and it was really only just over 50% of my community. And I think these 50% are already women who are interested in this topic.
I always find it so frightening that so many don't know how to negotiate and don't do it – even as the salary has a lot of implications for your life.

The biggest impact has your salary when you are starting out. The mistake most make is to look only at what they need to live on (plus a small addon). What they don´t do properly deal with is what their true market value actually is for the job in question. Most of the time people only find out a little bit later that they are far off the market value when they start talking to their friends and colleagues.

When you do find out you have two options; either you react angrily or you are curious and interested in how others did it and how they have developed. This is the first step toward successful negotiation. Negotiating is not rocket science. Every woman can learn it. That means that even if you think today, "I don't know how to do this” you’ll have to deal with the subject. And everyone can learn it. Don´t get stuck in the believe that only some people can do it naturally – and you can´t.Three steps to more self-determination

In order to recognize and break down one's own thought patterns, one must first create an awareness of one's own beliefs, drivers and supposed truths. Self-reflection is the key to this realization. Often, we don't remember exactly what we heard as children from our family or close environment. But we may hear it even now and can learn a great deal about our own thought patterns when visiting parents or grandparents. These guiding principles and moral compasses block our freedom and prevent us from self-realization. Even if some of us think "I don't want to do it that way (with my children)" we are still very deeply stuck in the learned thought patterns.

It is not about finding someone to blame and uncovering deeper psychological issues. It's about adapting our behavior to our needs and perceptions and disabling drivers that no longer serve us. A mindful approach to our thoughts can soften our thought patterns and lead to greater self-mood.

I am firmly convinced that everyone can develop negotiation skills. And I'm going to show you three simple steps today how you can do that.

You have probably heard that the gender pay gap in Germany is still 18%, meaning that women earn in average just 82 Cent compared to 100 Cent men earn. And that has a big impact. What is the cause of this difference? 12% are due to the fact that women work part-time more often, occupy management positions less often, choose certain professions and sectors and, because they work part-time more often, usually have less professional experience over their lifetime. But 6% of this difference can´t be explained by these factors - and those are the ones that annoy and bother me so extremely. These 6% difference motivate me to help closing this adjusted gender pay gap. This gap exists for the same job, the same qualification, absolutely identical work – so it obviously is just based on gender.

And to repeat it: That has a lot of consequences.

I find that simply unbelievable. If you take a look at the German pension insurance report from last year released by the federal government, you´ll notice that women get 49% less pension. The problem with the topic of old-age provision is that while we are working it is not so present for us. We think that sometime in the future it will be. But you need to realize, that that's what we influence so extremely with our current salary. That is why it’s so important that you are dealing with your salary now.

To start I would like to do a little exercise with you.

Take a pen and paper and let's work out together what you can achieve with just one salary increase. First of all, please calculate your personal years until retirement. Assume you are 35. If you look at the average age of the German pension, it's 67 years. This would mean 32 years, then you can multiply that by twelve and take an expected salary increase. So at least 50 €, I would say. The result is a profit of €38,400. And this is just the result of one negotiation. Experience shows that over time you naturally develop further, get higher positions, change companies and keep negotiating. And now I've just completely calculated the money as if you were putting it aside in a savings account. And let's say you negotiated 200 € more net and invest the money at 4% instead of spending it. That means it doesn't just stay on the side, but you invest it.

Close your eyes with me for a moment.

And now imagine that you could go into any future negotiation meeting confidently and sovereignly. That you could be quick-witted in response to any stupid killer argument. And that you could simply enjoy your work in a relaxed way and know that you are being paid appropriately for it. With these feelings I would like to go into the next exercise with you.

I would like to talk to you about a simple 3-step strategy that I recommend to you in order to prepare for the negotiation in the best possible way.

1 Research: We will look at your market value,

2 Preparation: Mindset as a basis. Prepare your strengths, arguments and success stories for the negotiation.

3 Performance: And last but not least, how you bring it all together in the interview.

1 Research

The very first point is the topic of market value.

How do I arrive at my market value and the general market value? Is it the absolute basis and foundation for your salary negotiations? How do I know what my performance is actually worth on the market?
Three tips for you. The very first tip is to do some research online. The second step is to really check your internal documents in detail, to see if there are any internal overviews. You really have to take apart the conditions of your own sector and job completely from front to back. And the third step or the third recommendation on the subject of market value is that you look for salary role models, i.e. people who are already a step further ahead in the industry than you are and really ask them openly in a two-way conversation.

2 Preparation

Let´s go on to the preparation. The mindset, your own inner attitude. Because if you don't believe in yourself, how can anyone else? I would encourage you to really work on becoming more confident, believing in yourself, challenging your own beliefs that everyone has in their heads and something that they do in great detail in the course, with visualizations, manifestations and very specific exercises on reversals of beliefs and reversals of convictions. I can also recommend Byron Katie's book “The Work” to you. The Work is really about working on your own mindset and strengthening your own convictions and belief in yourself.

Let's move on to the next step about strengths. And in this step, it is important to really become aware of what you are actually capable of. Because you might know when you have 30 projects on the table and 29 went perfectly, that one project might not. Then - at least that's how I more often than not feel – I´m walking around, thinking Oh. Why didn't this one project work perfectly? What did I do wrong? Why? I'm not good enough. I need to get some help. I need to educate myself on this. And quickly forget about all the projects that proceeded successfully and which have really added value.
I recommend you to prepare for the entire negotiation in writing, to be clear about what your skills are, what your strengths are, what your successes are. I recommend that you keep a kind of success diary, that is, write things down whenever they happen. To keep reminding yourself and to really formulate success stories for the negotiation that show how you have contributed to the success of your company – like e.g. increasing sales.

That means communicating your strengths, skills and successes in such a conversation, never your weaknesses, unless you are explicitly asked. It's about really selling yourself. And in order to sell yourself, you have to become aware of your strengths and your abilities. Sometimes it is difficult for you. Then it's a good idea to ask your colleagues. Or your family, because they often see your strengths. It's even easier than if you would do it. So, let's come back to our 3 steps. That is, we have worked on our market value. We worked on our mindset, we looked at our strengths and skills. And now we come to the super detailed preparation.
Define your goal for the respective negotiation.
It can be a salary increase, it can be more holiday days, it can be home office, it can be a deadline, a permanent contract, childcare allowance. There are so many points.

For each of you it will be a different reason. But it´s really important that you first become aware of what your goals are, so that you can negotiate them. But defining them in detail is the first step. If you want to negotiate certain trainings, which trainings should they be exactly? When do they take place, what do they cost? In other words, setting the goals would be the first step in preparing for negotiations. The second step is to think about the three magic numbers. Your ask, your dream and your minimum. A minimum number, where you also say, under no circumstances will I do it below that. These numbers are the guard rails for you for the negotiation, your plan B. Preparing for the counterpart. If you know the person and you are negotiating in the existing employment relationship, then you should consider. What are the goals of the counterpart? What is the person being measured against? And how do you manage to play into the person's cards with your demands, to pay attention to the person's goals? A negotiation is not a one-sided story, but takes place between two parties. The better you manage to show the other person why it is worthwhile, the better you can really prepare your arguments. For me, that is the goal of every negotiation, that you prepare in great detail for the other party and create a win-win situation for both parties. So, a situation where both parties walk away from the negotiating table and say, hey, this was worth it, we helped each other.

Now, prepare for the killer arguments like when the counterpart says, unfortunately, we don't have enough budget for a salary increase at the moment, everyone else is holding back at the moment, and so on. What are your possible answers then? In your preparation you worked on our case, you have worked out your strengths, abilities and successes beforehand. This means that you must of course include something here that fits your individual situation. Something which justifies a budget adjustment. Think how can I support them to get this? Can you support with a presentation, with any templates. Ask what is the process to get the budget? How can I help? And if it still doesn't work out, when will you have the appropriate budget? Stay on the ball, be persistent. Whatever killer argument comes your way, the very first thing is not to be deterred by it. The worst thing you can do, whatever the killer argument is, is to say all right, I'll go and come back next year. It's about your lifetime, it´s about your hobbies, it's about your pension, it's about your retirement. Why don't you treat the issue of salary as a priority project? That means taking a clear position and saying I don't agree with it. To ask questions, to take a sip, to bring the power back to you in the conversation. Wait a minute, I don't see it that way. We need to clarify that. We need to talk about that again.

I recommend actually naming the salary directly, i.e. the high number, always starting with the dream number. Of course, you have to know your market value and work it out, beforehand.

3 Performance

The next step - when we have all that, the market value, the mindset, the strengths, the super detailed preparation - is to bring it all together in the interview. And that's what another recommendation is for you. To prepare well, meaning to do something before the interview that puts you in a confident, self-assured mood, to choose clothes that make you feel confident, to really prepare in super detail for the interview and to play one through as critically as possible. Go into the interview super well-structured and prepared with a kind of theatre script.

It's also important to talk down all the negative killjoy arguments you can think of and think of your own personal reactions to them. That way, nothing can happen to you in the conversation. One trick I would like to give you that works very well in negotiations is the topic of maintaining silence. For example, if you have named an amount. Remain silent. I see it so often that women negotiate themselves down again. Please don't do it under any circumstances. My experience shows that the person who can stand the silence the longest in the conversation also comes out the winner in the negotiation. In other words, you really have to endure silence. It is worth it. Those few seconds can be so worth it in the long run.

And with that, we have already discussed the 3 steps.

For me, it is very important to just show you that the amount of your salary has a longlasting impact on your life. On your pension, on your assets. We've already seen that. And that you can nevertheless still fulfil a few dreams and enjoy your personal freedom and independence.

I get asked more often: What do you actually recommend concerning changing jobs just for more salary? My answer is this: I am a firm believer that fun and a great job go hand in hand with a decent salary, That it doesn't have to be that there is either one or the other. That is, I recommend working in a job that you enjoy, but at the same time keep looking for the job that also pays you appropriately. So, appropriate pay and fun may and must go hand in hand in my view. What is the right time to negotiate salary? From my experience, it is always when you realize that the performance no longer matches the pay. If you are in a company that is bound by collective agreements, a company where there are always talks at the beginning of the year, for example, then check when the budgets are distributed and register in good time! If the annual talks take place in January-February, the budgets are usually distributed in October-November. And that you are proactive about the interview before then and request it proactively. Please don't wait for the other person to come up to you, see your good performance your overtime and then reward you with the raise.

Conclusion

What I find so beautiful is, that salary negotiation doesn't just work once, but has a lasting positive effect on your financial situation and your wealth and the freedom that comes with it. So, my reason for negotiating is that you can drive the conversation. Proactively rehearse. If you don't ask, you can't win. Let your boss know in advance that you want to talk about salary. 

I have been asked what is usual as a salary increase? 5 %? 10 %? 20 %? 50 %? It's always a question of how far away from your real market value you put yourself.

I hope this blog has helped you and I look forward to accompanying you on the next steps. My course SHOW UP! prepares you to talk confidently about your performance and potential. In my 1:1 coaching and mentoring sessions I can prepare you for your next negotiation.

If you have any further questions, just drop me a line anytime. Here is the link to book a discovery call.

My leadership program MOVE UP! can help you with the preparation phase.

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