Does the day sometimes not have enough hours? Are your desk and inbox overflowing? Do you have one meeting after another on your calendar and no time for work?
Do you spend your time on things that are not really important?  Or maybe on things that are really not important to you, but you are working on anyway?
Do you find it difficult to concentrate? 
Do you sometimes not know how to act when more work comes? Do you not dare to say no because you are not allowed to say that? Are you eager to please?
Do you say "yes" to avoid conflicts and discussions, even when you know the answer should be "no"? Do you believe that "you have to make it work"?

Honestly, if you don't use your time and energy purposefully, strategically and responsibly, the end result will be frustration, lack of time and less success. 

So, what can you really do now to avoid the mistake of saying "yes" when you know the answer should be "no"?

It is solely about your attitude! It's about setting boundaries, healthy boundaries, and setting priorities - clear priorities. These days, with technology, flexible working and ever-changing workplaces, it is harder than ever to set healthy boundaries in the workplace.

It is also important to be aware that everyone's working style is different, meaning that one person's solution might be very different to another. It is important to keep this in mind when considering and setting boundaries. Let me share with you 9 TIPS TO SET BOUNDARIES AT WORK.

1) Separate the decision from the relationship

Sometimes they seem so closely related that we forget they are two different questions we need to answer. If we consciously separate these questions, we can make a more conscious decision. Answer the question, "What is the right decision?" and then, "How can I communicate this in the kindest way possible?"

2) Pay attention to your language 

Every time you use the phrase "I must", pause and replace it with "I will". This feels strange at first. But ultimately this language reminds us that we are making a choice, and this allows us to make a different choice, because often the "I will" doesn't vote at all. It will be an exciting journey.

3) Avoid working for or with people who don't respect your priorities 

It may sound simple, but this is a really liberating rule! There are people who share your values and therefore make it natural to live your priorities. It may take you a while to find such a work situation, but you can immediately set the course for this goal.

4) Give yourself space

One of the big problems most of us face is all the work we try to get done every day.  Most of our schedules are so packed that we literally have no time to think - we only have time to react. Work smarter not harder! If you want to be more productive, you need to do less and, most importantly, build time into your schedule to think and take a breath.

5) Learn to say "no"

An important lesson you will learn in prioritizing your time is the ability to say "no". Whether it's your friends asking you to go out with them or your boss making you work too much overtime, you need to know when to say "no".

If you can't manage to say "no" too easily, you will spend your time doing more for others than for yourself. Over time, you will develop resentment towards them and even yourself, and may explode at an unexpected (and often inconvenient) time.

The best way to make sure you don't reach your breaking point is to decline invitations and turn down work so you have time to make your own routine a priority. It is an encouraging measure to set boundaries for the people you love and those you work for.

As counterproductive as it may be, saying 'no' when you need to can be more beneficial to both sides of a relationship than saying an exasperated 'yes'.

What does it mean to give yourself priority?

Prioritizing yourself means thinking about everything your body needs and making sure you get it. Give yourself the time and attention you need by addressing your goals, desires and self-care.

Why is it important to prioritize yourself?

If you tend to spend more time and love on those around you, you may be neglecting your own self by not achieving your goals, hopes and dreams in the hope of supporting those around you instead.

6) Set clear priorities

Consider keeping a diary to identify patterns around issues, where you spend your time, what engages you most, etc.  Keep asking yourself (and your team), "What problem are we really trying to solve?" to get to the heart of the matter.  The reality is that most of us spend a lot of time on superficial distractions that are ultimately unimportant, and until we can get past that, we will continue to be unable to identify the few things that matter.

7) Set a strict schedule

Set your working hours - and stick to them - stop 24/7 availability. Don't attend "work events" after 7 PM if you don´t want to and don't work weekends. Reject redundant meetings. Turn off email and phone when you're in work mode and when you're off. Create a schedule that prioritizes work-life balance and put it all in your calendar.

8) Create transparency

Once you've established your priorities and values, communicate them. This can be as simple as telling your team that you won't be answering emails after 7 PM. You can also use this time to communicate what a 'work emergency' is so you don't have to deal with 'crises' that crop up in your spare time. Communication is the common thread that runs through all the other tips in this article. If you communicate in advance, you will prevent possible misunderstandings in the future.

9) Delegate work when appropriate

An important part of setting boundaries is setting expectations about the work you will do, the work you are hired to do, the work you are willing to take on (part of which is being a "team player"), and the work that is outside your scope of responsibility. If the work is completely outside your area of responsibility, you have the option of saying no (we'll get to that in the next point) or delegating the work to someone better suited to the task.

Prepare for boundary violators

As you begin to set boundaries, you will encounter resistance. Boundary setting doesn't happen overnight - and some people aren't even aware that they are constantly crossing them. Don't think of crossing boundaries as a step backwards. Instead, use it as an opportunity to teach your staff how best to communicate, when it is appropriate to interrupt you (if at all), and what they can realistically expect from you.

Stop feeling guilty about setting boundaries

Surprisingly, we usually feel guilty about taking care of our own needs. It feels downright selfish to focus on yourself when there is so much you could be doing for others. While compassion, empathy and kindness are wonderful qualities, we need to direct some of that towards ourselves.

1. Setting boundaries is not a nice to have

Taking care of your own needs is not a frivolous act of selfishness. It is vital to your well-being. If you don't take care of yourself, you risk health problems - both physical and mental.

2. Practice setting boundaries with other people

Many people have no inhibitions about taking care of themselves. Many of the people in your life have no qualms about taking care of themselves. If other people have no problem putting their own needs first, why shouldn't you? If you don't take care of yourself, who will?

3. If you help yourself, you help others

If you want to take care of others, you have to meet your own needs. The happier and healthier you are, the more likely you are to help the people you love. There is a reason flight attendants tell you to put your mask on before you help others.

4. Familiarize yourself with the word 'no'

It can be hard to say no, but you should get used to it. Many people feel guilty when they say no, but often that is the best response. There is nothing wrong with setting limits on your time and energy. Besides, you don't have to justify yourself - a "no" is a complete sentence.

5. Setting boundaries has to do with self-respect

Do you respect yourself? If you answered yes but neglected your self-care, then you are lying to yourself. You cannot possibly respect yourself if you do not pay attention to your own needs. If you respect yourself, then you should know that you are worthy of setting boundaries for yourself.

6. Setting boundaries protects you

Proper self-care protects you from many different things. Self-care helps protect your health, energy, spirit, time and boundaries. Self-care is one of the best time investments you can make to protect yourself from future harm.

4 reasons why you should prioritize yourself

1. You need to achieve your personal goals.

2. You cannot be expected to give to others without giving to yourself.

3. You must love yourself the most before you give your attention to others.

4. The bottom line is that the only person who will give yourself the priority you need is you.

While there will always be certain things we need to do that can’t be avoided, you will be surprised how much time you can free up in your day for yourself by saying "no" to the things that do not bring you joy.

If you need support to sort out your priorities so that you are not derailed reach out to me for a coaching session.

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Related posts:

https://www.katharinaengelhardt.com/blog/the-influence-of-limiting-beliefs-on-your-career-take-ownership

https://www.katharinaengelhardt.com/blog/how-to-say-no

https://www.katharinaengelhardt.com/blog/self-carethe-key-to-living-a-balanced-and-satisfying-life

https://www.katharinaengelhardt.com/blog/knowing-your-priorities